F.O.P. is Open: 2013

At the end of a week of more-than-90-degree days at Chez Nous, the daytime temperature has finally dropped into the 70s, which is a perfectly reasonable temperature at which one can play croquet.  The field of play is officially open.

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Opening Game 2013

In this season-opening game, DJB demonstrated (once again) good sportsmanship, elan, and humility in his come-from-behind win. Congratulations DJB!
– DJB

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2012 – “Possibly the lamest season ever” Edition

[Editorial Note: There were only three games played in 2012, which was not enough to name a winner. The only notes from that year occurred with an undated note in DJB’s hand]

Possibly the lamest season ever!
– DJB

[which is annotated in MGL’s hand]

No. Best! [heart emoji]

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F.O.P. Is Open: 2011

Golden Mallet winners DJB and MGL opened the field of play this afternoon with a thorough raking.  The course hasn’t looked better in years!

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Don LeM’s Great Accomplishment

6/14/98 on this day I (DBLeM) accomplished a major (I say modestly) triumph by successfully thwarting the game leader (MRLeM) who was about to go through wickets 13+14 by hitting RHB, utilizing 2 strokes to hit TRB alongside wickets 13+14. By placing my ball the requisite mallet head’s length I was able to place my ball in a manner such that it was touching MRLeM’s ball. Then, in order to “hit” MRLeM, I gracefully “golf shot” her ball towards the lake. From the new position of MRLeM’s ball, I was able to send her down the concrete walk [Grandma’s Folly] to the beach and on my second shot returned to the central field of play. This brilliant play had the effect of immediately equalizing the game and enable another participant to triumph. Though I did not win the game and notwithstanding the preceding protest, I proudly assert that my play was in the very highest tradition of GM and exceptional in its concept and execution.

[In TDB’s Hand]
In re: Protest of Martha LeM of this date. D.B.LeM had hit M. LeM and was about to hit her toward the lake when TDB realized that in so doing he very probably would have done permanent damage to wicket #15 “the last wicket”. In desperation to save this hallowed relic otherwise known as the “victory arch” he allowed the wicket to be removed during D LeM’s shot. M LeM in her blood thirsty quest for victory at any price protested. Our duty to the ages requires us to hold her protest for naught. So ordered.
TDB CJ of GM.

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Marty LeM Gets Shafted

6/14/98 M LeM was sent into the lake by removal of the last two wickets — so game is protested and in the spirit of the Golden Mallet it is deemed a game of no record! I was shafted. See note of 1977 page 2.

— M LeM

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TRB Returns to the F.O.P.

6/11/98 – Returning to the field of play after an eight year hiatus, TRB turned in a lackluster score of 12. Interestingly, it is the same score he had when he last played on June 4, 1990.  But it was more than double the score of his father RHB.

-TDB

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Don and Marty Return to the F.O.P.

On June 9 Don & Marty LeMessurier returned to the Field of Play after an absence of 14 years.  D. LeM. turned in his usual lackluster performance (12), but Martha played with flashes of brilliance and repeated her only 1982 appearance, which was a 25.  Martha also achieved another kudo of sorts by being the 2nd to hit TDB (see titles & honoraria at page 62-63 supra) into the lake.  This is the second time in GM play that a player has been hit in the lake–and both times it has been TDB!! and by a Colfax Auxiliary member!!  Martha’s changes of becoming the next Worthy Grand Matron have just declined considerably! [In the hand of TDB] (I can not improve on this bullshit! Even though it is true and I offered to put [TDB’s] clothes in the dryer!) — M LeMessurier

[Addendum in TDB’s hand…]
It is noted that M LeM. did not authenticate her win of 6/9/98 within 24 hours of the win and it is accordingly held for naught. GMR3.17.G(iii).

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1997 Winner

1997 G.M. Winner is DJBII with an average score of 19.  Congrats Dan on your second GM!  Doug Hoadley came in second with a fairly respectable 17.8.  It is to be noted that if he had not played in either of the games of 7/13/97 when he was beat by his wife & father-in-law respectively he might have won!

[in the hand of TDB]

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Clarifying Remarks on the 1996 Golden Mallet Award

9/1/97 – In a fit of retribution unequaled in G.M. play RHB seeks to deprive his mother of her fairly won GM victory in 1996.  This is truly an act worthy of MACBETH rather than a ranking member of Colfax.  RHB not being an attorney is obviously unaware of the change to GM Rule 5 at page 117 supra.

TDB
C.J. of GM.

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