August 6, 1994 will go down in history as a day of infamy on the GM field of honor. On that day Liz and Doug invaded the hallowed halls and smeared tim with their own peculiar brand of team spirit. The situation was as follows: four time GM victor, member of the GM Hall of Fame, Chief Justice of the Golden Mallet, Commissioner of the Golden Mallet, Chief of Player Operations and Grand Marshall of the Mallet was shooting for No. 12. He had allowed Liz, Doug, + Bob (another former GM Champion) to go on ahead so that the finish of the came would be a challenge to him). Liz and Doug were going for #13 as was Bob. Liz was in perfect position to go thru the wicket and “Douggie” made a fairly credible shot which hit “Lizzie”. Any true competitor would have known that Liz had to be driven away so she could not pursue Doug in his flight toward a possible victory. But Tom + Bob knew Doug was not well versed in GM dogma [and] informed Doug of the tactical situation. He chose to ignore it – leaving Liz in position to go thru the wicket, which she of course proceeded to do – and then she proceeded to beat “Douggie”. Hopefully Doug will learn from his blatant misbehavior that Golden Mallet is about “individual competition”. It is not a “team” game. While his sucking up to his wife may have given him (and her) a temporary feeling of camaraderie, it bodes ill for his long term development. It calls into question what kind of father he will be to the “first great grandchildren”. The reader is left to ponder that question. History will judge them. However, I must judge their conduct on the field of play. Liz and Doug are both “censured” for conduct unbecoming of a GM player. They shall forfeit their scores in the subject game. If they had been GM champions their conduct would have called for expulsion (but now we have an inkling why they are not champions). Done this 7th day of August 1994, this 24th year of the Mallet, and 74th year of Colfax at the Cottage.
BOTTOM LINE TOM + BOB LOST! DSH
The game in question on Aug 6th was won fairly on merits of skill by “the Golden Goddess”. This is a prime example of juvenile jealousy and poor sportsmanship on the parts of the former old fart mallets. A sorry display! God and we know who deserves the crown!
– The Golden Goddess ’94