Author Archives: Archivist of the GM

Golden Mallet Stands the Test of Time

Posted on August 8, 2025 by Archivist of the GM

As the nation turns it’s jaded eye to the midwest and the last institution standing in post-democracy America, its faith in tradition and optimism for the future are restored as it glimpses the young phenom, TGB, upon his return to play in 2025. … Continue reading →

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2016 Scoring (Avoiding a Shitstorm of Historic Proportions?)

Posted on July 31, 2016 by Archivist of the GM

We all have our own reasons for returning to Chez Nous each year. To enjoy nature and time with family. To reconnect with the ghosts of the past. To recharge and plan our goals for the future. Whatever our priorities, … Continue reading →

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The New Mallets Are Here!

Posted on August 6, 2014 by Archivist of the GM

[What follows is an email exchange between KJB and KG celebrating new mallets] Shelley and I arrived last Saturday for an enjoyable-but-too-short 2 night overlap with H & K. Of course one of the first things I did was to … Continue reading →

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Mallet Matters

Posted on April 18, 2014 by Archivist of the GM

In an earlier post KJB mentioned that he was having new Mallets made to commemorate his purported 2013 win. Though that win has yet to be officially sanctioned, the celebratory offspring have become real. A series of emails to the … Continue reading →

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KJB’s Victory Claim: GM 2013

Posted on January 29, 2014 by Archivist of the GM

[Editor’s note: what follows is a lightly edited thread of electronic mail dispatches exchanged in the wake of KJB’s claimed 2013 victory which surfaced on 1/28/2014] Ladies and Gentlemen and all Friends of the Golden Mallet: Pursuant to the rules, … Continue reading →

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KJB Winner 2013

Posted on November 1, 2013 by Archivist of the GM
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Mallet Memories: Dr. Pye is in Ohio…

Posted on September 18, 2013 by Archivist of the GM

There was a sign hanging near the start/finish of the F.O.P. back in my childhood.  It read “Dr. Pye is in Ohio and his mother is much worse”. On it was depicted the foot of a player smashing his own … Continue reading →

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Strategic Use of a Black Lexus

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Archivist of the GM

KJB, Jane Thompson and Chuck Thompson played. This game was noteworthy for “strategic use of the black Lexus” by Jane. Five times she hit her ball under the Lexus and used her mallet-length to strategic advantage: a lesson for the … Continue reading →

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XBP Declared “Dry Behind the Ears”

Posted on August 5, 2013 by Archivist of the GM

By the required unanimous vote of all Golden-Mallet-Qualified players present (8), XBP [full name redacted] was declared to be “dry behind the ears” and thus qualified “forever” for Golden Mallet play. (See Rules & Regulations, Part II sec. 3(a)(iii)(6)). On … Continue reading →

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A Rare Miscalculation

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Archivist of the GM

In a rare miscalculation, DJB allowed DSS to gain a rather lengthy lead which he uncharacteristically utilized to take the win (7/23/[2013]). Never again! DJB smothered the competition (such as it is) in today’s game. David’s [DSS’] dreams of a … Continue reading →

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