Review of 1986 Scores

The 1986 Golden Mallet Rules and Awards Committee met on October 12, 1986.  A committee of inquiry under rule 7 was also impaneled in this year of our Mallet the 16th.  Upon review of the Records of the Golden Mallet it became obvious that RHB had attempted to win his second Golden Mallet by a whirlwind weekend of play against unknown competition or taking advantage of senior citizens.  It is also obvious he violated several of the Rules of Play.

We must admit that such fraud and chicanery are in the finest tradition of Colfax and the Golden Mallet – unless one is caught.

The charges and specifications are as follows:

9/15/86 II Game – Charge – Violation of GMR V B (2)(a)(1) – self authentication of score

9/15/86 II Game – Charge – Violation of GMR V C (9)(m)(8) – requires 3 qualified players.

9/15/86 – Playing against 2 other players over 75 years of age  – GM rule iX B – it should be noted that HJB has not participated in play since 1981 and is considered retired from active competition.  We are of course honored to have HJB present several of his renowned trick shot clinics each season.  Many members of the younger generation have received their initial introduction to the fields of play at these clinics.  However, it should be noted he has never been able to show anyone how to get through “old #5″, which makes his score of 12 in 9/15/86 games somewhat suspicious.

9/13/86 Game – Charge – Unreadable authentication – after the initials RHB are the initials C_ something (perhaps an “L”).  No such person is known to the Master of the Rolls of the Golden Mallet.  Fraud in the authentication is charged.

Findings – Guilty on all counts.  Sentence – RHB shall be stripped of his initial Golden Mallet award and shall forfeit all pay and allowances.  However, because of his long years of service he shall be allowed to use a golden mallet in play.  Done at Chez Nous this 16th of October, 1986.  TD Beeby, GM (5 times), GMHOF, GMSOTYA, GM of the GM, CJ GMC, G Mgr/Dir of Player Ops, Pres, CEO, COO, Chrm of Bd and Comm of GM (see page 62 intra for details)

[Date unknown] On Rehearing, re: charges of 10/16/86 against RHB.  Keith Graham points out that a member of the Golden Mallet Hall of Fame can self authenticate his own scores.  The court, always seeking to do justice, is pleased to consider this point.

The keeper of the rolls has submitted an affidavit that RHB is not a member of the GMHOF.  in order to attain this pinnacle one must win the Golden Mallet on 3 occasions.  It might be surprising to some, considering the high profile RHB takes in these pages –but not on the fields themselves — but RHB has only won on one (1) occasion.

In addition members, of G.M.H. of F. may not self authenticate after Labor Day, unless they are four time winners.  This is to avoid situations such as that before the court this very day — a last minute “dash for the gold”.  GM Rule VIII (C) (33)

Original order affirmed on rehearing.

TDB

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