On this date upon the alter of eternal gas was reverently placed what shall henceforth be known as the “Order of the Shaft”. It shall be awarded annually, if and as deemed appropriate by the Board of Directors to the female judged to have been the recipient of the shaft most unjustly (in the Board’s opinion).
“The shaft shall be of a lithified structure seven to eight inches in length; one to two inches in girth. It shall repose in a very erect posture at an angle of approximately 5° to 8 ° from the perpendicular.” “Semper Regidus” [editor’s note: this should be “Semper Rigidus”, no?]. “The Board can do no wrong”.
The winner shall wear, on an appropriate holiday, a crown inscribed ” She Stoops to Conquer!”
