The Case of the Hit Hat

On this date John Hartman showed his true mettle and it does not come up to that necessary for him to ever be outstanding on the “fields of play”.  His mediocre score of 13 is partial evidence of this.

There were three two separate incidents in this game showing John’s ill temper and poor spirit.  The first occurred at #12 where he luckily got to within 6″ of the wicket after 12 positioning shots & then went partially thru the wicket & then had the gall to state that it had rolled thru and then backwards.  What is interesting is that on the previous evening he had insisted that TCB was wrong when he made the same claim, to the extent that he called out TDB from inside to make a ruling.  He carried on for 10 minutes about the righteousness of his position, but when it was pointed out that if he won his position was blocked by the wicket from taking his “other” shot.  With complete alacrity he abandoned his position taken so righteously only moments before and took the position he did not go through the wicket.  KJB, Mr. “Shilly-Shally”, supported him! (Not unexpectedly.)

The more serious incident was at #13 when TCB threw his Colfax hat across the intended line of John’s shot for a perfectly legitimate “woogie-woogie.”  John then hit the Colfax hat with his mallet a distance of five yards!  This sacrilege cannot be condoned.  This writer notes that this behavior is closely akin to John’s previous charge of “attempted assault on The Vouu of the Golden Mallet” (see pg 74 supra).  When confronted with the charges of his behavior John replied as expected by going on the attack.  He said the hitting the Colfax hat would teach TCB to have the maturity necessary for membership in the august fraternity.


[In DJB’s hand]  John Hartman is not the fiends he’s made out to be in the previous pages!  It is true that John did defend his “throughness” at #12, but when challenged he changed his decision for the sake of fair play.  (He didn’t want the label of hypocrite due to the incident the previous evening in which TCB’s ball encountered the same plight).  In the case of old #12 John Hartman is innocent.  However, he did hit the Colfax hat!  He did of course hit it with the feeling that it was the had of TDB who threw it out of spite and jealousy.  If anyone should be censured in this matter is should be TCB for throwing a sacred relic of the Ancient and Illustrious Order of Colfax!  John, not being a member of Colfax, was obviously fearful of touching such a revered headpiece with his hands so he cleared it with his mallet.  Let me state again that all actions taken by John on this day, August 20, 1989 were actions taken in respect for fellow payers and for sacred institutions.


[In John Hartman’s hand]Reply to the accusations against myself 8/20/89:
I question my own judgement by bothering to respond to the absurd accusations.  However, I feel that the truth must be heard from a source besides TDB, who is quickly becoming the most hated tyrannical despot since Louis XIV.  His blatant misuse of power is so renowned that this book can only be read as comedy.  I, and everyone else involved in the incident, know that John Hartman did only what any other Golden Mallet player would have done in similar circumstances, including the accuser TDB.  His entry was written with a tingle of jealousy as a rookies such as myself out-scored the infamous TDB during said game.  I refuse to ramble on any longer.  The hear myself write, as some other entries have certainly been “long winded”.  I am innocent of all charges and any further response only will further this silliness.

John B Hartman 8/20/89
P.S. No part of this entry should be considered an attack on the game itself or the ideals it should stand for.

[in TDB’s hand]John is correct by beginning his epistle by questioning his own judgement in this open and notoriously blatant personal attack upon a founder of the GM.  These comments are for the purpose of noting in a humorous vein the foibles of some and the victories of others so that all might learn.  Because John now leads in foibles does not mean that he may not someday, however remote it may seem, be writing of his victories in these pages.  Perhaps that will come after he masters the intricacies of the French monarchy!


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